


Three Can Play This Game

by aceschwarz222



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Protective Steve Rogers, Sassy Tony, tony stark is a prankster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceschwarz222/pseuds/aceschwarz222
Summary: Tony likes to play pranks, and things get really interesting when he realizes Steve and Bucky are old enough to be his parents…





	

Tony Stark loved to stir up trouble. It made boring days exciting and got his blood pumping. He got a thrill out of putting Secretary Ross on hold just so he could watch the little light blink on the phone. He would often count to 100 before he picked up again, just to put him back on hold a few moments later.

He loved trying to guess Natasha’s dirty secrets and watching her eyes roll. The conversation would always end with him dodging whatever object was near her hands when she finally got fed up with his antics. 

Whenever Rhodey got tired of Tony’s nagging, he trip him with his cane. Since Tony had developed said cane, there were often scorch marks left behind on the walls from the warning shot Rhodey fired when Tony just didn’t know when to shut up. 

But the people Tony Stark really liked to annoy were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. The Golden Boy and his best friend. Two peas in the cryogenic pod. 

“Hey Capsicle!” Tony would call whenever Steve entered the gym while he was there. 

“Tin Man, save some of that milk for the rest of us!” he would chide as Bucky ate his cereal. 

Steve and Bucky would just roll their eyes and ignore him. And Tony Stark was not one to be ignored…

* * *

“Do you need help with something Tony?” Steve asked. He and Bucky had stopped in the kitchen for a protein shake after an intense workout session. Ever since they walked in, Tony had been staring at them intently. 

Tony pushed off the island he was leaning on and walked over to the two super soldiers. He uncrossed his arms and pointed to them.

“You’re older than me,” he finally said. Steve and Bucky looked at each other, confusion etched on their faces. 

“Yeah…?” Steve asked, as if this was an obvious statement. He was used to the other Avengers teasing him about his age. Heck, Natasha called him a fossil all the time. 

“And not only are you older than me,” Tony continued, “but you’re old enough to be my parents.”

“What’s your point, Stark?” Bucky asked, taking a gulp from his protein shake. 

“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Tony replied, grinning mischievously. He turned around and walked out, waving his hand over his shoulder as he left.

“Don’t ask me,” Steve said as Bucky opened his mouth. “I have no idea what he’s up to.”

* * *

“Moooom, Dad called me mean names!” Tony’s voice reverberated through the small briefing room as he walked in and pouted. He slumped down in one of the chairs and crossed his arms over his chest like a small child. Steve stared at from the other end of the table, completely dumbfounded by Tony’s behavior. Nat and Sam suppressed laughs and Thor looked on like a lost puppy.

Bucky came storming in after him, magnets sticking to his metal arm. “This asshole thinks it’s funny to keep sticking shit on my arm!” He picked one off and threw it at Tony for emphasis.

“See, Mom!” Tony yelled, pointing at Bucky. “Dad’s saying bad words now too!” He got up and ducked behind Steve’s seat as Bucky threw another magnet at him.

“Mom make him stop!” Tony shouted in Steve’s ear. Steve sat up and nearly shoved Tony to the floor when he pulled the seat away.

“Tony, we have a meeting to get to! Knock it off!” Another magnet whizzed by Steve’s ear. “Bucky! Enough with the magnets! He won’t put them on your arm anymore. Will you Tony?” He directed the last statement at the grown man sitting on the floor with an impish grin on his face. 

“I won’t, Mom. I promise.” Tony stood up, crossed his heart, and straightened the suit vest. “Well, let’s get this meeting started, shall we?” His cocky, confident demeanor returned, and any childish petulance disappeared as he began briefing the team about their upcoming mission.

Bucky sat in his chair still stewing over the magnets. Steve silently prayed that no one else would cause mayhem before the meeting ended. Meanwhile, Sam and Natasha texted under the table, making bets on who would break first over Tony’s prank. 

 _A hundred bucks says Barnes throws him off the Tower before the end of the week,_  Sam texted.

Thor peered over Sam’s shoulder and read the text. “I wish to bet against Barnes as well,” he whispered. Sam gave him a small nod of acknowledgement. Nat texted back,

_No way, Steve will reign him in. They’ll get Stark back. Just watch._

* * *

Bucky grunted as he pushed the barbell up over his chest. Once he was satisfied with the number of reps, he let it fall back into the rack with a loud, metallic clang. As he sat up, he saw Steve walking in with Tony following close behind. Steve’s face was painted with annoyance, and once they got within earshot, Bucky understood why.

“You never play with me, Mom!” Tony whined. “It’s always work this, work that. I wanna play!” He jumped up and down as Steve tried to continue to ignore him. It had been almost a week since the briefing room incident, and Tony had barely let up on the Mom and Dad act. Based on Steve’s current reaction, it wasn’t going to be much longer before one of them throttled Tony to death. 

“Tony, for the last time, leave me ALONE!” Steve yelled. Tony stopped dead in his tracks and his lip began to quiver dramatically. Steve paused and for a moment, he felt guilty about yelling at Tony. Of course, that feeling was short-lived. 

“Dadddddddyyyy!” Tony pretended to cry. He walked over to Bucky who was still sitting on the workout bench. Tony sat down next to his “father” and wrapped his arms around him. Bucky froze at the contact and looked at Steve frantically. 

“Get him off of me,” Bucky mouthed. He grimaced as Tony tightened his grip and pretended to cry louder. Steve walked closer and knelt down to Tony’s level.

“Tony, I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry. But I need you to get off Bucky now before he kills you.” How Steve managed to stay so calm was beyond Bucky’s reasoning. However, those three sentences appeared to have worked wonders because Tony bounded off the bench and out of the gym. 

“What. The. Hell.” Bucky said. He rubbed at his arms to try to get the feeling of Tony’s hug to go away. 

“Okay,” Steve said, determinedly. “Three can play at this game.” His face broke out into a Cheshire-worthy grin as he looked down at Bucky. 

“What did you have in mind?”

* * *

Tony walked down to the parking garage. The weather was gorgeous, and he decided it was the perfect day to show off his new Audi to the entire borough of Manhattan. There was only one problem…his car wasn’t there. In fact, none of his cars were there.

Mouth open in shock, he spun around a few times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times just to make sure his vision hadn’t gone on him. When he stopped and his beloved cars were still missing, he rushed back upstairs. 

“Where the hell are my cars?” he yelled to no one in particular. “FRIDAY, where are my cars?”

“Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes removed them from the garage,” the AI responded. 

“They…wha-…how?!” Tony yelled. 

“I do not know,” FRIDAY replied. “It appears Ms. Romanoff disabled my systems for a period of thirty minutes earlier this afternoon.” Tony let this information seep into his brain. Then,

“BARNES? ROGERS? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” He raced through the different rooms of the Tower until he came to the living room. Bucky and Steve sat patiently on the couch.

“Oh, good, you’re here, son,” Steve said calmly as Tony stormed in.

“Son? What are you-” Bucky put up his hand. “Your mother and I have a few things to discuss with you. Sit down,” he said.

“But-” Tony started. He stopped as Bucky glared at him. “I said, sit down.” Tony numbly sat on a chair opposite Steve and Bucky. Steve cleared his throat.

“By now, you’ve probably noticed your cars are missing.” Tony opened his mouth then shut it again when Bucky gave him a stare that could wither flowers. He opted for nodding mutely.

“Well, cars are for good boys, and lately, you’ve been a very naughty boy.” Steve was enjoying this, Tony could tell. He wanted nothing more than to punch Steve in his perfect teeth.

“The whining, the nagging, it’s enough. You know better. We raised you better,” Bucky said firmly. 

Tony was seething. How dare they turn his prank around on him?

“Where. Are. My. Cars.” he stated darkly. 

“Oh you’ll get them back,” Bucky said, a cocky grin replacing his firm stare. “But first, your mother and I need you to do a few things.” Steve pulled a small paper out of his pocket and began to read.

“One, the kitchen is a mess. You need to get all the dishes done. Two, when was the last time anyone dusted in here? Make sure you get all the surfaces. We don’t want any streaking. Finally, your father and I think it would be best if you cleaned your room. Make the bed, put away your clothes, the whole nine yards. Any questions?” He passed the list to Tony, who held it like it was a piece of garbage.

“You can’t be serious,” he finally replied. 

“Oh, we’re dead serious,” Steve said, standing up. “You were so insistent that we are your parents, so here we are.” He patted Tony on the shoulder and turned around. Bucky followed him and they walked out of the room. 

“And Tony?” Bucky called behind him. “No cheating. Sons who cheat don’t get their cars back.” He and Steve managed to join Sam, Nat and Thor in the kitchen before collapsing in a fit of laughter. 

Tony looked back down at the list again. He couldn’t believe Steve and Bucky had actually one-upped him.

“Well played, gentlemen,” he said to himself. “Well played.”


End file.
